Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize
