he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
I just googled if crying burns calories
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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