he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
