everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
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