Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Randomize
