you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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