I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Randomize
