it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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