I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Randomize
