I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Randomize
