So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
