Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
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