you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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