if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
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