it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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