Don't you send me to vm
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
