Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
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