Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
