Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
