none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Randomize
