She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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