We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
