I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Randomize
