I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
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