That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
