pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
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