Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
