I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
