That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
Randomize
