I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
