The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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