i permit you to call me
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
