fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
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