We won't sleep together?
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Randomize
