My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
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