I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
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