so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
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