Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
sarcasm needs its own font
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
