I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
