I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
you had me at cake vodka
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
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