Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
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