just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
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