If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
