I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Randomize
