when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
I think i got beer on your cat.
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