All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
