Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
