Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
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