4 words: hood of his car
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
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