She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
