we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
