I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
